three part dialogue

You told me you wanted to stay here and start a family with me.

You told me in five years you’d be ready.

You told me I was the only reason you were still alive.

You told me you wished I was twenty years older.

You told me I was crazy because I wrote a blog post about you when I was manic.

You told me you wished I was into girls.

You told me that I made you believe in a God.

And you didn’t need to tell me anything because I went and found out for myself.

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I told you that I’d rather die and then I broke your heart.

I told you that I would wait five years and two months later I told you to never contact me.

I told you that I overdosed and if I kept you alive why couldn’t you do the same for me?

I told you that in twenty years I’d be 39 and you’d probably be in a grave.

I told you that I liked your friend better anyways.

I told you that I wished I was into girls too but only if they tasted as sweet as you.

I told you that when I looked in your eyes God was reflected back to me.

And I never felt the urge to tell you anything else because it’s not what you said but what you did that rendered me speechless.

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What will you tell me

What can I whisper to you

I know all the right things to say

I have amazing delivery I am a writer after all

But will I tell you the real reason why my hands shake

That it’s not because you make me nervous

Will I tell you what all the others told me

And

Will I tell you how much I want to be possessed by you

How I feel like I don’t exist unless your eyes are in mine

And

Will you temper my tremors

Will you find me in this lifetime and each one after

I wonder what you’ll tell me next

Because I believe everything they all told me before