(un)Conventional?

I feel like I have such an unconventional relationship  with fashion, or rather the fashion industry. I really began to observe this when I was in fashion school. Without trying to sound like the ‘pick me’ girl, I really have always done  my own thing as I kind of talked about in my previous posts. Even after graduation I would look at former classmates  of mine and they were already hitting the grindstone and styling and doing all of this  art  direction focused work. Which is my major as well, well  one of them. A few things I felt was that questioning of self. Was I not doing enough? Am I falling behind in some way? I had to remind myself that I want more out of fashion and this industry than just getting hired for jobs. There’s nothing wrong with that but I just don’t want that cut and paste way for me in the industry. My mentor offered me an insight. She said that what I want out of the fashion industry isn’t just a job. I want to influence it, to lead, to learn and to make it better. And that’s so true. I feel like everything I do has to have more than just one function to it and that I’m someone who is willing to give all of myself to what I’m passionate about. It seems from what I’ve observed in my classes at art school specifically, that there’s a lack of passion, of inquisitivity and appreciation. Everyone’s least favorite class was fashion history, that was my favorite. Good example. 

I feel like my relationship to fashion in general is  kind of how I’ve always approached  my life whether I noticed it or not. I don’t want to be pinned down or assigned to one category. I love to write about fashion and mental health of course. I love to take photos and I love to document via vlogging. I still style and do art direction projects as well. It seems like in fashion a majority of people have to find their niche and then that’s what they’re known for. People like Kanye, try to break that mold. That’s why I look up to him so much. He doesn’t give a fuck about a title. Which is why when Kim referred to him as a “rapper” he  was   so offended  because it undermined all he’s tried to work for. Take it with a grain of salt, that’s an SNL monologue, but the point is still made. 

Throughout my life I’ve always been very private. I didn’t tell friends or  family when I applied to fashion school  until after the fact. I’m tres contente being in my own lane and observing others from a detached standpoint. I’m a Leo, so maybe that  means I get off on the whole shock and awe effect, which I kind of do. But really, I just enjoy my solitude when it comes to new ventures and projects, I like to get lost in them. So back to what I was originally saying about classmates at my old school. Everything felt so fucking performative and competitiive. I couldn’t relate. Like I don’t give a fuck about your archive McQueen skirt or that you interned for who-the-fuck-ever. Why are you here then? I’m laughing while writing this, just remembering how it was so clear that I was at times underestimated by my “peers.” Again, performative as fuck. Like when you think of art school assholes, whatever you just thought of  was a lot of kids at my school. And we weren’t even “kids,” we’re in grad school. I’m here for a short time, not a good time. So of course when it came time for critique, I loved “surprising” some classmates with my work. And just thinking to myself that just because I’m quiet or don’t have the connections already set up or work in the field, has nothing to do with anything. 

My “unconventional” relationship with fashion is so much more than just using my degree for their  singular functions. I want to be the one that does it all and is so versatile that whatever you need, I got it for you baby. Why do people box themselves in? Especially when fashion today is so fleeting and frankly superficial, I feel like being multi-skilled and having an open mind to do everything and anything is essential. Fashion today seems like such a simulation…but that’s another post. There’s so many ways to express fashion and with that creativity and I just feel that having a conventional idea of what fashion should be or even what it actually is today isn’t going to stimulate any growth or change in the direction of  the industry. That’s why newer and younger brands to me are so intriguing because their message is so clear and strong and there’s no way to challenge their strongly held beliefs. Maybe my ideas aren’t so unconventional but the people that I am surrounded by currently certainly make me feel that they are.