interlude II

Hi, my name is KAILYN and I’m deranged. I’m alone in a house that has echoes of people who have tongues that lie to me. Smiles but I know they despise the being that I am; rotting away in a room full of enemies I can’t see and full of rage that has no place to run to. Who is in control? I’m so distant from myself, who- ever that is, she has no place here because I am now in control, so slide over to the passenger seat because I’m now in control of this vehicle. Of this mind. Of this body. You think I’m strange? Are you scared of this vessel that used to be your sister, your daughter and your friend? You should be. I’m insane, I’m strange and I’m skiing down a slope until a tree has the audacity to stop me in my tracks. Try to help me and you’re only giving me more ammunition to use my tongue in the most harmful of fashions. I’m reaching out for relief but it only slips through my fingers and then I’m on to the next. All the kids cried out, ‘please stop you’re scaring me," PLAYS IN MY HEADPHONES but ITS my reality. I thrive on your pain and your worry like a villain from a comic strip or a sociopath from a true crime special. You look at me, with tears in your eyes searching for that sweet girl who ran to you when she was scared from a nightmare, but she’s not here. She’s in the sunken place watching it all play out like a movie. She’s so far gone. Hugs have no place here, in fact your kind- ness is fuel, making me grow bigger than my bones and inflating my ego until in my eyes, you’re pathetic. You’re weak. You disgust me. Then...happiness, joy from your pain. I’m elated. Thoughts racing is an understatement. Do you know what it feels like to have A VIRUS TAKE ROOT IN YOUR MIND? Do you know what it’s like to ruin four relationships in one day? Do you know what it’s like to really lose control? I don’t, but she does. But don’t you dare speak ill of her. Only I can do that, because at the end of the day I am her and she is me and at the end of the night all we have is each other. Nice to meet you, my name is KAILYN.
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interlude I

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interlude III